It's A Fucking Scarf

Dear Jay Severin (& other Conservo-puppets),

Firstly, I completely understand why you are on the radio. You are a horrible elfishly ugly excuse for a human. I'm appalled at your face, but I'm disgusted by what you say and how you speak. Secondly, when you speak I can hear the clicking of your tongue and saliva from the back and sides of your mouth, and it churns my stomach. I dislike you more than I dislike Michele McPhee. I have collected data, however, on how well a host speaks versus how good looking a host is, on your station:

X is Ugly(Face) and Y is Beauty(Voice)

Math... it adds up, bitches!

Jay, I see that you are a full 24+ hours late to the puppet party. You found that it is now your turn to give Dunkin' Donuts and Rachel Ray hell for being TERRORIZTZ (that's an internet terrorist, because the internet automagically replaces S's with Z's)! But you didn't just play the role of an unforgiving ignoramus, pushing stupidity to all of your listeners... you took this opportunity to propagate pure hatespeech. Pure and unrelenting hatespeech. You did an awesome job at making sure you didn't get fired though. I see what you did there. You quoted something you referred to as "Amos and Islam", and as of now, I cannot find the source of this. But you used this writing to propagate hatred by quoting it and making clear you don't disagree with it. Presumably to save your own ass from being fired, as you pointed out almost happened the last time you did this.

In your re-reading you quote such things as making it OK to strip search, randomly scrutinize, deport and jail any Middle Eastern looking person. Why? As you put it, not quoting, so they could go back to where they came from and tell their kids to be nice to white people. Why? Because they are overwhelming us in their "demography" by "reproducing" way more. They are politically taking over, as you put it. Your "source" at the FBI informed you, and you thankfully informed us, that there are way more Jihadists than we can imagine in this country, hiding, being harbored, and about to bomb Fenway Park.

You propogandick. You use sensational tactics like pointing out how me and my family will become victims of murderous, ruthless Islamists, and then follow it by telling me it will be at Fenway Park (like 7 fucking times), and most likely on opening day (by the way, that was a while ago). You are sick and twisted, Jay.

You make me so angry that I haven't even gotten to the fucking scarf.

And to display your proud and seemingly limitless knowledge of Islamic and Middle Eastern societies, practices and laws - you made it clear that they ALL (as you put it), think women are less than donkeys. You followed that on the coattails of Amos' explanation about how Islamic culture excludes half the worlds population - women. NO WRONG FAIL! Some, not all still limit the activity of women in utterly disgusting ways. Not all. Not even close. And by the way - "they" aren't the only ones.

You then follow this with a story you read in the NY Post (Times?) about a Belgian woman, who is a "Muslim Extremist". She doesn't bomb or kill on her own, she uses the internet (now with more than 100 websites!) to preach and spread the hatred of Al-Qaeda. This "disgusting pig" as you put it, is a shame, and the NY Post (Times?) should reveal where she lives, so that... "special forces can invade this pigs home, extract all the information they can from her and shoot her dead on the spot."

You put the ass in class, Jay. Because clearly, the only people in the world calling for the death of people unlike them on the behalf of religion is Al-Qaeda, right? Definitely not these folks. Or these, or them or this guy. No one else - ever in the history of anything.

So how did we get here, Jay? Because Rachel Ray wore a scarf in a Dunkin' Donuts commercial. And because you're 24+ hours behind every other lunatic. You are such a puppet. You're from New York, but you said that Dunkin' Donuts has the best bagels you've ever had.

Look, I've been to New Jersey, and even they have better bagels than Dunkin' Donuts, so I'm going to assume that if New Jersey can make awesome bagels, New York must, by association of greasy haired-open shirted assholes, make better bagels than Dunkin' Donuts. You're so proud of Dunkin' Donuts and the actions they took to take the ad away - because it was just outright "distasteful and offensive". Stick to baking cookies with the other elves. They don't have scarves.

Well Jay, I've done some research for you. I found those terrorists in America you're talking about:

Laura Bush: Scarforist!
Small Child at Terrorist Training camp, presumably somewhere cold!
NOT YOU TEDDY!
GEORGE WASHINGTON?!

It's a fucking invasion, Jay.

I want this ad back in the interwebz as fast as possible. I hate Rachel Ray - she's annoying - but she has the right to wear any fucking scarf she feels like when pushing caffeine and hashbrowns into my face.

Apparently these are one the of issues I should be concerned with: American's with scarves.

whatishappening?,
-Derek

PS: I apologize for not having linked the sources of what was being read - I can't find them. If anyone can find them, I'll link them immediately (NY Post, Amos).

EDIT: Dr. Momentum's got a take on this business. However, it managed to escape the blogodome (think Tina Turner, inter-tubes, and cats the spell things incorrectly) and it hit the radio waves.

I'm reading this to my kids

Goodnight Bush

H/T CDR Salamander

Yacht Party

Exposing the California Republican Party's priorities: While thousands of teachers are getting pink slips, the Republicans are supporting an appalling tax loophole for yacht purchases. That's why the Courage Campaign is calling the Republicans the "Yacht Party".

Delegate Updates

Tonight's primaries are likely to be a 50/50 split. Literally, with about 50 delegates going to each candidate (51 for Kentucky, 52 for Oregon).

So the real news on the delegate front may be elsewhere. Obama picked up 2 super-delegates to Clinton's 1 today. That's business as usual. More interesting is that 10 out of 18 pledged super-delegates for Edwards will now vote for Obama.

That means Obama's total delegate lead is inching up towards 200.

The NBC NEWS counts:
PLEDGED: Obama 1,602 to 1,444
SUPERDELEGATES: Obama 304.5 to 280.5
EDWARDS PL. DELEGATES: Obama 10 to 0
TOTAL: Obama 1,916.5 to 1,724.5 (Obama +192)

Don't Do It, Ted

Dear Ted Kennedy,

Don't you quit on us now. This country, and more specifically, this state, needs you and your near invincibility, and presumed immortality. At least until November, granted we get ourselves some Democrat action.

Look, a seizure is nothing. You cheated death in a plane crash, car accident, and your family curse.

I'm glad we had this talk, get well soon.

onbehalfofeveryoneinmassachusetts,
-Derek

Someone Explain The Issues to Me

Dear Michele McPhee et al of 96.9 WTKK,

Allow me to make myself very clear now for the readers, and you: I am a liberal. I do believe in some conservatism with respect to financial responsibility and humanity, but let us ignore this for now. I listen to your station on a daily basis. This is a tirade/open letter on the sheer ignorance of you, your co-workers, and your station. Including, but not limited to the ugly Jay Severin and the unfunny "stand-up comic Michael Graham.

So, Michele, consistently you claim that you are a life long democrat. You, however, have shown no support for the democrats, current and former. Your beliefs seem to be mostly aligned with Neo-conservatism more than anything. A false sense of "conserving". What exactly are you conserving, anyways? Is if the finances of America? We're pissing away $5000 a second. The time it takes me to finish this, the country would have spent nearly $100,000 dollars. Fucking awesome. Is it Christian-centric religious conservatism? Because you've got the gayest party in the world. Since 1980, by my count there were 16 Republican based sex scandals, 10 Democrat. Of the sex scandals, most were "extra marital". The Republicans, however, being very conservative, conserved themselves into new families almost immediately, instead of sticking by their families. Of these 26, 15 caused divorce, illegitimate children, were forceful, with children or homosexual in nature. Of these 15, 12 are Republican based. Also, to note, of these 15, some include overlap, like soliciting young boys (Word up, Foley!).

I've grown very tired of the manipulation of candidates and the consistency of being inconsistent. Maybe I can't blame you directly, because from what I can tell you have the functional, cognitive and speaking ability equivalent to a goldfish that suffers from severe anxiety. As a radio show host you have a terrible voice. But that's the stations fault. As a radio personality you have zero presence, and cannot maintain a sentence longer than 5 words before you need a solid 3 second break in speech. You also manage to spew Neo-con fecal rhetoric on a daily basis, firmly implying that you firmly believe all will be right with NOT Obama.

Before I get into the trigger of this tirade, let me begin with some blurbs about how you roll:

1. Jeremiah Wright is still "relevant" in everything you say
• But crazy Hagee isn't?
  
2. Lapel pins are still "relevant" in everything you say
• Considering most are made in China, wouldn't that make most people Chinese patriots?
  
3. September 11th is mentioned more frequently on your show than I've ever heard before
• Somehow you have "statistics" "committed to memory" of how many firefighters, police officers, etc... have died because of 9/11
• Even though you type like a fucking Clydesdale, clod-hopping its way through a Texas Roadhouse, crushing peanut shells along the way. Dummy.

Today, Saturday May, 17, 2008, you spewed your rhetoric beyond a point I could not withstand anymore.

As an aside, I listen to you and your station for humor purposes, only. I find it hysterical, albeit frightening, that you and your listeners believe and think some of the things you believe.

Case 1: A gentleman called today, made the "strong claim" that social security in this country is collapsing because we're not having enough children. And since we don't have enough children, all of our jobs go to illegal immigrants. You didn't disagree. You only refuted that we (as a country, or state) don't have enough children and that social security is collapsing IN PART because of corruption. Yes, the solution to social security is to fuck (literally) ourselves (each other?) into being a super power, again. Unemployment is increasing, the dollar is falling and the divergence between socio-economic status is becoming larger. Lines are no longer blurred. Immigrants are to blame?

Case 2: So, today on your show, you continued to harp on the fact that Obama cannot be President, simply because he doesn't respect women due to his "sweetie" comment. You stuck to your guns and insisted that the comment itself is the problem. But, when a caller called in and implied that the real problem is that this is a non-issue with too much focus, you magically agreed and then claimed that you're tired of the sweetie comments taking precedence over issues like "Protecting America". Moments later, another called swayed you back to spewing that "Sweetie" itself was the problem. Because it was like "patting her on the head". Just because you can't remember things during a commercial break, doesn't mean others don't. You have single-handedly demonstrated the ease of which flip-flopping can be observed within Neo-con circles.

Case 3: Your continuance of spewing forth anti-Democrat (for the most part, anti-Obama) rhetoric came at the culmination that Obama was more in the wrong for slipping up and saying "57 States" recently, than McCain was for confusing Sunni's with Shiites. To be brutally honest, if we had a presidential candidate that couldn't count to 7, or manged to speak beyond 5 word phrases (perhaps you should run, Michele?) that could easily identify and NOT confuse "those we're fighting against", I would vote for them over any candidate from the Republicans (and similar groups, including Hilla-crats). Why? As the commander-in-chief it is ABSOLUTELY FUNDAMENTAL that they can identify with NO confusion exactly who we're supposed to be fighting and supporting.

Case 4: Or how about when Obama "presumed" he was being attacked via Bush's Knesset speech? It disgusted you that Obama believed it was him. How about getting to the real point? That someone so ignorant and insensitive, and grandson to a Nazi sympathizer, would mention Nazi's, when giving a speech to Israei Jews.

Are these really the issues? Somehow you, and everyone in your circle believe the country needs to be brought together, by fighting terrorism, with only the best damn candidate ever: John W. McBush, Alzheimer's Superhero. We can't have any crazy "elitists" like Obama and Joe Kennedy running around, hugging up to Chavez. I mean, how dare someone be so elite that they provide struggling families with FREE FUCKING HEATING OIL. Instead of raising the price of oil and lying about shortages. Maybe you're right, it is elite to support struggling families with healthcare, food and heat - because no one else is doing it.

I love freedom of speech, but I truly hope that the Democrats can pull of the constitution based destruction and dismantling of conservative radio.

Michele, you create bold-faced lies and support the most destructive force to this country that it has ever seen: Itself. Your entire life, now revolves around avoiding real issues, creating fake issues and convincing the ignorant, weak-minded, swing voters, and Anti-gay Jesus-crazy that the best thing for this country is to trust the current regime.

How can you sleep at night? I assume quite well, because you are socially, cognitively and mentally deficient. Haven't you grown tired of saying the same things over and over again? How long can you ride the Go-Go Reagan-naut coattails? You, your friends, and people like you are destroying this country.

This country is on the verge of a serious EPIC FAIL! Science = evil wizardry. Gay = disease. Guns = AWESOME. Education = "No one is left behind when everyone is left behind". Math = TOO HARD. Stem cells = Not in God's plan. NASCAR = End all be all of entertainment.

I invite anyone and everyone to explain to me the issues, and convince me one way or another what the best things for this country is, and exactly who I should support and why. But, please note, that your opinion is probably wrong.

thiscountryshouldsplitapart,
-Derek

When Cluelessness Attacks

By now, you've heard that Bush went to Israel and attacked Obama from afar (not by name, but that defense only convinced the extremely credulous). The attack is the usual Republican guilt-by-analogy. If you can't attack someone on the facts, you just say "they're like the Nazis" or "they're like the people who appeased the Nazis." The great thing about this tactic is that you can say anything you want -- make any analogy you want. It can be as groundless as you like, so long as you can get the whole echo chamber to repeat it.

In the coming months, remember this as one more example of how Bush and McCain are reading from the same script. If you vote for McCain, you're voting for a Bush 3rd term. McCain will have to enumerate all the ways he's different from Bush. Some of those will be manufactured, and the unspoken fact behind any such list is that pretty much everything he doesn't mention is all Bush all the time. This was a conscious metamorphosis on his part. Issue after issue, McCain has adopted, even embraced the Bush worldview. You can pick on minor differences, but it's that twisted worldview that earned Bush his unpopular status by way of leaving the country a mess.

Back to this specific story, after Bush used his elected pulpit to travel abroad and launch a purely political attack (it's good to be the King, eh?) McCain wasted no time jumping on Bush's coattails.

But wait! It turns out that if you scratch McCain, there's bullshit underneath. As recently as two years ago, McCain expressed his view that we're going to need to deal with Hamas through diplomats.

[...] given his own position on Hamas, McCain is the last politician who should be attacking Obama. Two years ago, just after Hamas won the Palestinian parliamentary elections, I interviewed McCain for the British network Sky News's "World News Tonight" program. Here is the crucial part of our exchange:

I asked: "Do you think that American diplomats should be operating the way they have in the past, working with the Palestinian government if Hamas is now in charge?"

McCain answered: "They're the government; sooner or later we are going to have to deal with them, one way or another, and I understand why this administration and previous administrations had such antipathy toward Hamas because of their dedication to violence and the things that they not only espouse but practice, so . . . but it's a new reality in the Middle East. I think the lesson is people want security and a decent life and decent future, that they want democracy. Fatah was not giving them that."

Today, McCain wants you to ignore his previously expressed views and accept his constantly-shifting foreign policy. Fine, Senator McCain; you're trying so hard to be Bush 2.0 falling all over yourself. This was your chance to be honest and distance yourself from a Bush clumsy political attack. Instead, you want Bush-McCain to be firm in our minds. Have it your way.

For purely entertainment purposes, here's a fun video of Chris Matthews putting the screws to a NeoCon who wants to scream his head off over how horrible Obama is, but he has no idea what his analogy actually meant. This video really started to crack me up about halfway through. Literally, I laughed out loud.

Technorati : boneheads, bush, clueless neocons, mccainbush08, republicans

The Republicans You Deserve

Apparently, congressional Republicans have a new slogan in the run up to the election.

"The Change You Deserve!"

My first reaction to this is that they're finally acknowledging that the recession has left many people scrambling for that loose change in the back of the couch or perhaps between seat cushions on the bus. As far as the government's concerned, that change is yours to keep! You deserve it! Good luck making the rent.

But it turns out that "The Change You Deserve" is already the slogan for the antidepressant Effexor.

Is this an acknowledgement of all the anguish and suffering that Republican "leadership" has put us through, or is it a misguided solution to a predicted economic depression? Effexor may be effective for emotional problems, but they'll have to do better than that if they want to improve the economy.

Hat tip! B.O.B. and Patti brought this story to my attention.

Fun news

I'm too tired to think straight but these two news stories made me smile. Who doesn't smile at Clinton's superhuman ability to delude herself? According to Clinton, tomorrow's election in tiny West Virginia is going to be a turning point in the election. Another one. Only this time, I guess she expects things to actually turn. She thinks winning a huge percentage of the vote in a state with only 28 delegates is going to turn the superdelegates' heads. Mountain mama.

And I have to admit I get a little chuckle out of the news that Bob Barr is going to be running as the Libertarian candidate for president, and it has the Republican panties in a collective bunch. So are the debates going to be a four-way? Three old white guys and Obama. That will be sweet.

Half a delegate to go

This morning, I saw a headline that said Obama had picked up three superdelegates and a union endorsement.

Later, the headline said it was five superdelegates. I clicked, and by the time the article came up, the headline said six superdelegates.

Just a minute ago, the headline had been updated to nine superdelegates, and Obama was one-half superdelegate shy of Clinton.

Since Obama is already way ahead in the mundanedelegate count, this isn't a huge big deal.

And yet, it's cheering me up on this otherwise extremely crappy, disappointing day.

Obama Doomsday Scenario Contest Results

Hey Eggheads and African Americans! Sorry I've been away from the blog for so long. But I've come across an item I think might make you LOL.

The Slate asked posters to enter the "Obama Doomsday Scenario Contest" -- a contest to imgine what kind of event would have to happen for Barack Obama to lose the Democratic Presidential nomination.

I present the winners for your perusal!

3rd place: Hillary appeals to the Supreme Court, which, based upon a 2000 ruling, decides that the candidate with fewer votes wins the election.
—John Kirkbride

2nd place: Hillary Clinton must parachute into Pakistan while under heavy sniper fire, infiltrate al-Qaida using a fake beard, putty nose, and duct tape, and capture Osama Bin Laden, whilst singing the “Star Spangled Banner” with one hand over her heart and an American flag lapel pin prominently shown on her outfit. She must film all of this in HD and create a montage scored to Lee Greenwood's “God Bless the U.S.A.” Meanwhile, Barack Obama must publicly convert to Islam and change his name to Osama Hafez al-Mohammed Hussein Ayatollah Obama, while burning an American flag in the Crystal Cathedral as he replaces the crucifix with a do-it-yourself Piss Christ, while performing an abortion on the exhumed body of Terri Schiavo. He should also be naked. It should then rain frogs. That ought to do it.
—Jason in San Diego

1st place: One of the lesser-known consequences of quantum physics is an event called “quantum tunneling.” Here's how it happens: At a campaign stop in West Virginia, completely out of the blue, the aggregate wave functions of all the particles in Barack Obama's body end up instantaneously transporting him through the entire Earth and leaving him treading water somewhere in the Indian Ocean, or leaving his various particles scattered inside the mantle. The odds of this occurring are such that any macroscopic object tunneling through any barrier is highly unlikely in the lifespan of the universe, but it could occur!
—Michael Blessington

Thought you fellow Eggheads would love the winner!

Enjoy! :)

McCain Hearts Libby

"I'm proud of you, I'm proud of your family," he gushed. "It's always a pleasure for me to come on your program, Gordon, and congratulations on your continued success and adherence to the principles and philosophies that keep our nation great." - John McCain

"Now if the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms comes to disarm you and they are bearing arms, resist them with arms. Go for a head shot; they're going to be wearing bulletproof vests. . . . Kill the sons of bitches." - G. Gordon Liddy

McCain finds his own radical friend

Not as juicy a story as watching Obama bowl?

Obama on Daily Kos

It took a little digging but I found Barack Obama's September 2005 post on the blog Daily Kos. He suggests avoiding absolutes on both sides of the political spectrum as the only way to build a majority large enough to make real changes in this country. He expands on that point in his second book The Audacity of Hope, which I'm reading right now, and he mentions the Daily Kos discussion on page 41.

The book is quite good so far and the second chapter is an interesting summary of how the major political parties have evolved during the last fifty years.

I'll skip the obvious jokes about Bush and coloring books.